Well, isn't that the supposed age that us teenagers should be living in these days? hahaha i guess the times have really changed. What ever happened to late night movie marathons and sleepovers at your friend's house endlessly chatting 'til 5 in the morning about the cute boys you're currently crushing on? Or just hanging out at the mall shopping all day? For some reason, I think the teenagers these days can't live without clubs, loud music and lots and lots of alcohol and some species of the other sex to keep us entertained. Well, that's just what i think. We're all a little too liberated these days. What ever happened to late night prank phone calls, baking cookies and giving each other make-0vers? Hayyyy.
Sometimes, I wish we were all still a little innocent. So that we'd all have some great things to look forward to when we reach the age of glamour when we deserve the right to go out and party 'til dawn. Us teenagers with out loud music and uber cool outfits are a bit too pretentious at times. Yes, i did just say that. But don't tell me that you don't agree. I mean who ever said it looked cool to be wasted at a party when all the big kids are looking at you saying 'what the hell is that kid doing?!' yes, i guess we all have our shining moments and we all learned from them, right? but for now, i wish we could all just enjoy our innocence, live life slowly and don't grab it by the balls and all just have fun, but in moderation. Well obviously, I've learned a little something these past few days. Hopefully you will too ;)
School's been fun and me and my girls have slowly been planning our ball. Yeah, it's decades away pa but hey isn't it good to be prepared? I hope I have a date with someone that means something to me. Not just some random hot guy[yes, he needs to be hot] hahaha! and with graduation and college coming up? we're gonna need new looks! oh the excitment. can't wait to see what the future holds for all of us. and as for the theif that stole my money? oh she better watch her back cause when i find out who she is, some serious hair pulling is gonna go on at school! HAHAHA =p see you all later :)
xOx-Layla
Finally, I decided to cut the crap and stop being so damn lazy! Haha. I've actually been productive in school, doing all the work and assignments on time, doing well on quizzes, NOT sleeping. I hope i can keep this up! ;) This week has overall been a good week and i'm semi looking forward to the weekend. Only SEMI though...since i'm grounded and all. hopefully, since i'm just in paradise, i'll be allowed to go to ina's house. i hope i hope i hope. hayyy. if not dammit i wish school was every fucking day! hahahahahah. i'm such a geek.
I've recently taken a liking to reading lately. haha i decided to read inspirational stuff cause that's kinda what i need right now. a little pick me up :) so i started reading Tuesdays With Morrie. it's sucha sweet story. I can't wait to get to the meat of it. Haven't stopped reading it all day. haha well of course except for right now. HAHA lol anyways, it just give us all a better outlook on life and why we definitely shouldn't take it for granted. cause i'm pretty sure we do sometimes.
anyways, i don't have much to say, today! friday tomorrow...woohoo[and i say that with all sarcasm in the world] hahahah. ciao!
My creative juices aren't exactly flowing at the very moment but what the heck. After a not so long day at school today, Ina and I baked some delish oatmeal cookies after school. I felt pretty accomplished. ;) The English quiz we had today was a piece of cake[i'm so hoping i'm not gonna have to eat my words after i see my score. haha] and other than that, i talked most of the day but got everything i needed to get done, well, done.
on another note, we had quite a funny class this morning. "lades, you know what this word mens? [spells it out on the board] 'flagiarism'." HAHAHAHAH what kind of teacher can't spell plagiarism??????
At lunch the girls and i had a pretty intimate conversation about pregnancy, sex and abortion and the likes. it's a pretty scary topic i don't wanna have to experience 'til i'm married! HAHA seriously, well abortion i never wanna have to experience. dude i'm really blanking out right now. hahaha peace!
Paradise Village. Means what it's called. HAHA =p it truly is Paradise. can you keep a secret?? he walked me home today! :) it was nice. not awkward at all...perfect. i'm smitten. that's all i can say.
besides that, i overall had a really good day today. school flew by quickly, good conversations with my girls and the perfect way to end my day. i've really got to say, things are finally starting to get better. and hopefully starting off the week on a good foot means this weeks gonna be good too, right? well i sure hope so.
finally spoke to sister and we both made our peace. i just realized we both have our different points and we just gotta meet somewhere in between and somehow just compromize. knowing how both of us really feels makes things a whole lot easier. it's a fair game now. but i just feel like i need time to myself to think about things.
this is gonna be a short one tonight, not like anyone reads this shit or anything. but i like having this around to remind me of how things used to be. and it's sort of like a stress reliever. i hope he walks me home again. he seems like one of the very few decent guys in cebu, if not the only one left. and i like that about him. my overprotective cousin even approves. i guess that's a good sign ;) goodnight, everyone.
-smitten
So honestly speaking, the past two days made me feel like a pile of shit...no scratch that, make it two piles of shit. Not only did I have to stay home on a friday night, but saturday was just a mark of the day i walked out and never looked back. I had to tell my very much awaited visitor on friday night, that he couldn't come over just because. Of course I was bummed out, I mean I was anxious to see him! =(
Then Saturday came and Cielo, Arden, Nikki and Kim came over with a bottle of rhum to ease the pain and some sprite to chase along with it. I thought everything would be okay until sister walked into the room and accidentally hit the unknown bottles with her feet only to find out that we were hiding the rhum. What luck, huh? I think God finds it quite amusing to punish me like this. I mean first, I got grounded for two months, but now getting caught hiding rhum in my room? Not cool. It's not like my sister doesn't know that we drink. But the fact that she had to catch us hiding it made it worse. So i texted her to apologize and i was at the very least, apologetic for my actions because I knew I was wrong. I'm ALWAYS wrong to her. AND she hits me back with something so irrelevant to what we were arguing about in the first place. After that, I just realized I WAS DONE. I got up, went to my dad's sister's house and never looked back. I cried like a baby because my sister never made me feel so unwanted in my whole life. Not only did she make me feel unwanted, but my parents have never EVER made me feel that way EVER. I never knew the feeling until today. I just realized that it was time for me to make a change in my life and i feel so relieved. Now i'm here at my cousin's house and i honestly, have never felt any better. I'm not saying i'm completely disowning my sister and saying that what she did was wrong... but it's just that i need time to myself and time to figure out myself.
In times when i needed a sister, i got a mother. I already have a mother so why do i need two to yell at me everytime do something wrong in my life?? I just sometimes need a sister to talk to and make kwento to when I have a new crush, or about the cute guy i danced with the other night, or that time i almost bitch slapped a girl for talking shit about my girlfriends or that time i got so wasted but i had a blast. But instead, i got someone who judges me unendingly, a person i can't tell eveything to and a person i'm scared to open up to because i'm scared to get grounded AGAIN. I'm totally not questioning her and her morals or who she's trying to make me to be because that's understandable. I live with her and her rules and she's just trying to make me become a good person. But it just got to the point where it got to be too much. And i felt smothered. I hate having to hide things from my sister because i wanna be able to tell her why i'm so kilig all the time or why i'm sad. Couldn't she at least give me that? Well i'm just really babbling now but... i had to let all of this out sometime and i finally just blew up.
On the lighter side of things, I feel a lot better now that I got this out. And sister called me a while ago and she sounded uber guilty. But for now, my minds made up.
-lost and soo not in control =/
